you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
