When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
