A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
