using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
