love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
