i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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