you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
