i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
