Sponge bath it is.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
