had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
did you just send me my own nude
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
