Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
