yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
