I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
