I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
