is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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