Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize