He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
