Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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