I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
