C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Randomize
