You really coming over, don't trick.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
