Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
