I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
