Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
