how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize