I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She's like a pop up book from hell.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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