I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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