so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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