If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
