He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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