Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Threesome in a minivan. New low
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
