Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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