Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
