I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
