five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
