Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
