I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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