ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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