Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
