I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
