Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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