Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
