yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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