Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
