if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
