im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I met the friendliest cop last night
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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