So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
