Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
