And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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