Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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