butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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