just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
