Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
