I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize