matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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