We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Drake has all the answers
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize