hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just found puke in my bra..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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