C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
