THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
