Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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