You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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