They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
