Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
