In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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